


Knock on Wood

by maroonweb



Series: A Tattoo of Parker Luck [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Blood, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Identity Reveal, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maroonweb/pseuds/maroonweb
Summary: “What’s got Parker in a mood?” MJ asked Harley.“Apparently, she’s trying to break the world record for number of reveals in a month.”“Oh God, now you’ve done it. Please knock on wood or throw salt or something.”AKA The tattoo causes more issues.(Felt brave, might delete later lol 🤪 Or at least fix it more?)
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: A Tattoo of Parker Luck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089353
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	Knock on Wood

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so tired. This is my last on for a few weeks my friends.
> 
> This makes more sense if you read the first work.

“In other news, an anonymous tip reported Queen’s notorious mutant menace was nearly unmasked last week by Iron Man and Iron Lad in the most recent alien invasion hindered by Scarlet Witch and Spider-Man, himself...” J. Jonah Jameson preached. 

“God, the media is such bullshit sometimes,” May groaned after she turned off the television, knowing Penny advocated for mutants even more fiercely than she did. “You ever going to tell me what happened between you and Harley?” 

Penny finished the equation she was working on and put her pencil down. “I told you, everything is fine. We fought over something stupid and we both apologized. Can we drop it?”  
  
“Sweetheart, I haven’t seen you cry like that in years. I’m sorry if I can’t just ignore the fact that he hurt my baby girl.”  
  
“It was just as much my fault, if not more.” 

May pursed her lips skeptically but moved from the couch to the table to give her niece a tight hug. 

“Okay. I’ll leave it for now. I’m just used to telling each other everything…” she hesitated for a moment “…like how I might have met someone on the dating app you recommended?” 

“WHAT?!” Penny’s mouth dropped in shock. May had been using the app since Harley and Penny had gotten together nine months previously. She’d made a few friends, but none of them seemed to click significantly enough to mention them to Penny. 

“Oh Pen, he’s just so sweet. I can’t wait for you to meet him, Harold even invited me to—” 

A knock at the door interrupted her, causing her to frown, “Let me guess. Harley?” 

“May, be nice,” Penny warned before she answered the door. “It’s Harley and Wanda!” 

“Wanda?” 

The two friends smiled warmly from the doorway at Penny and then at May. Or in Harley’s case—winced at May when he received her glare of disapproval. 

Penny rolled her eyes, “Well I’d introduce you, but we’re running late to meet MJ.” 

If she slammed the door a little harder than usual, then it was purely on accident.  
____ 

They arrived at the café early. 

“I know this is a set-up,” Wanda sighed, inspecting her nails as they waited for MJ. “It’s like being in the same brain with you two.” 

Harley and Penny exchanged a look, smirking evilly and causing Wanda to grimace in disgust, “Ugh, that is way too much information. Rude.” 

“Please, like reading our minds isn’t?” Penny whispered and folded her arms. 

“Penny, you know I can’t always control it,” Wanda whispered back. 

A familiar figure emerged from the crowd of the café line and looked around. Penny waved MJ over. 

“What’s up nerds?” 

Wanda couldn’t resist a small smile at the friendly insult. 

“Wanda, this is MJ. MJ, meet Wanda, a friend of Harley’s.” 

“Huh,” MJ gave Wanda a small wave. “What’s this really about?” 

“Well, the three of us have invites to The Blip Gala next weekend and, I know it’s not your scene, but can you bear to suffer it with us? I promise it won’t be boring.” 

MJ smirked, “Oh, I know. I heard what happened at the last one you two went to.” 

Wanda snickered before putting her red manicured nails to her lips. That seemed to win MJ’s favor over and she sat next to the red-head with her coffee. 

“How’d you and Harley meet?” MJ asked Wanda. 

Wanda looked fearfully at Penny, they hadn’t exactly come up with a cover-story. It was best to be as honest with MJ anyway, Penny thought back to their conversation about keeping “web-designing” from Harley. 

‘I trust her, but it’s up to you,’ Penny nodded. 

Wanda swallowed in preparation to take the plunge, “Well, to be honest, I met Penny first. I help her with her web-design? Specifically, the project from last weekend.” 

MJ thought for about five seconds and then slammed her coffee down, “Penelope Parker. I am going to murder you.” 

Wanda looked upset for a fraction of a second before her face immediately lit up with the biggest smile Penny had seen on her friend’s face in years. 

“You didn’t think to warn me before setting me up with my biggest hero crush? The one that can read minds?” MJ whisper-screeched. 

“Oops,” Penny shrugged guiltily. 

“You in on this, lover-boy?” MJ pointed an accusatory finger at Harley while Wanda giggled again. 

“Uh… Like the web-designing gig or the double-date scheme? I guess either way, yes.” 

MJ’s hand fell to the table with a thud. “Who…?” 

“I do the heavy lifting with Tony.” 

“I can’t. I can’t process this. The fight?” She asked Penny. 

“Yup. May hates him.” 

“You started it!” 

“I thought you hated me!” 

“Ugh, should I get May flowers?” 

MJ cackled, “Good luck, Cowboy. May’s wrath takes years to recover from. I still don’t think she’s forgiven me for practicing my tattoos on Penny in high school.” 

“Oh…” Penny’s shoulders slumped at the mention of the tiny spider on her hip. “MJ… I forgot to tell you… Ms. Charlotte is gone.” 

“No!” MJ gasped. 

Penny nodded, standing up and lifting the shirt fabric on her waist to show her the scarring that had replaced MJ’s first baby. 

MJ threw her head into her arms on the table and let out a sad whimper. Wanda hesitated before rubbing MJ’s back in attempt to comfort her new friend. 

A muffled whisper came from MJ, “I can’t decide if this is the best or worst day of my life.”  
___ 

The day of The Blip Gala came quickly. The event was hosted by Tony Stark in honor of those who lost their lives due to Thanos and to celebrate those who returned. 

Penny was nearly ready, but her hair wasn’t curling the way she’d hoped. She tapped her fingers on her bathroom counter and debated asking her aunt for help. 

She wasn’t ignoring May, per say. Penny had just scheduled events throughout the week that happened to keep her out of the apartment for long amounts of time. 

She opened the door and came face to face with her aunt who was dressed in an elegant evening gown. 

“Oh!” 

“Penny…” 

“May, you look amazing! I didn’t realize you were going out as well.” 

“Harold invited me to The Blip Gala,” May smiled softly. 

“You too?! Harley also got lucky with a few tickets.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” May gently took the curler from Penny. “Is it too late to carpool?” 

“Uhm…” She didn’t want to keep avoiding her aunt, but she also wanted to protect Harley from the terrifying woman curling Penny’s hair. 

“I’ll play nice, I promise. I can’t handle this not talking thing. I miss you, love.” 

“I miss you too. If Harold has a car, maybe you two can you two join us? I’d hate for Harley to cancel whatever he has planned.” 

“That sounds great.” 

There was a knock at the door right as May finished with Penny’s hair. The two women opened it to find two men holding flowers. 

Harley jumped in before Penny could say anything about ‘Harold’, the man she recognized as Tony’s ornery driver ironically nicknamed ‘Happy’. 

“Penny! Funny story, May is dating my guardian’s employee. Happy, this is Penny, my girlfriend.” 

“Oh!” Penny got the hint, Happy still didn’t know she was Spider-Man, but he must have known Iron Lad. “Hap-I mean Harold, it’s nice to meet you.” 

She shook his hand, feeling a sense of déjà vu about “meeting” a man she’d met probably about a hundred times as Spider-Man. 

“You as well, Penny. I’ve heard a lot of good things from May.” 

Once the flowers were taken care of, the two couples walked down to the limo Harley had arranged. 

May seemed to put most of the puzzle pieces together by the time she was seated next to Penny, “Harold, you said you worked for SI?” 

“I do,” he said bluntly as he sat across from her, not seeing where this was going like Penny did. 

“Harley, does that mean your guardian is…?” 

Harley gave her a knowing half-smile and nodded. 

“Oh Penny! Why didn’t you tell me that’s what happened that weekend?” 

“What happened?” Happy asked. 

“Apparently these two love-birds had a fight involving Mr. Stark,” she whispered conspiratorially. 

“Doesn’t surprise me, they’re both stubborn,” Happy responded, but quickly backtracked when Harley kicked him gently. “But Harley’s a good kid when he’s not kicking his mentors.” 

“Christ,” Harley closed his eyes and bumped his head against the limo window. 

“Harley, I still don’t have the full story, but I may have misjudged you. I hope you can forgive me?” May smiled hopefully at the man. 

“May, you know I can’t resist a Parker woman’s apology,” he flashed her a charming smile. 

“Yuck, stop being sappy,” Penny kicked Harley this time. 

“You love it when I’m sappy!”  
____ 

Harley and Penny walked in first, just in time to see Tony and Pepper welcoming a few guests at the entrance. 

Tony lit up like a Christmas tree at the sight of his kids. He probably would’ve immediately ditched the guests they were in the middle of greeting if Pepper wasn’t on his arm. As soon as they wrapped up the conversation, Tony half-jogged to catch up with Penny and Harley. 

“Pen! Harley! I wasn’t sure if you two would make it. The cups are made of glass, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you resist stacking them,” Tony teased. He pulled Harley into a hug and turned to Penny to do the same, kissing her hair affectionately. 

A confused noise came from behind Penny at the embrace. Penny’s heart dropped, this didn’t quite align with the picture May had painted in her mind about the fight the two had mere weeks prior. 

“Tony, this is Penny’s aunt May I was telling you about,” Harley gestured to the couple behind them. “Apparently we did Happy a favor by noting his obsession with Downtown Abbey on his dating app bio.” 

“You did what?” Happy scowled. 

“Ms. Parker! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Penny and Happy have mentioned great things about you,” he praised while shaking her hand. 

“Yes, I didn’t realize you and Pen were so close,” she studied Penny carefully beside her. She leaned in a bit to whisper, “Whole story. Later.” 

Tony sensed he may have said too much and quickly moved the attention to his wife, introducing Pepper to May and then Penny. 

“You are absolutely beautiful. I’ve been dying to meet you face-to-face, sweetheart,” Pepper didn’t help the matters by strongly hinting that she knew Penny was the person behind the mask she and Morgan would occasionally have dinners with. 

Hoping to avoid the interrogation sure to come from May, Penny dragged Harley to the dance floor saying they needed to find MJ and Wanda. 

“Oh my God,” she dropped her head on Harley’s chest, which had started to rumble with a laugh. “Stop it! This isn’t funny.” 

“This is hilarious, and you know it,” he kissed the top of her head. “Only you, Parker.” 

“What if Happy figures me out?” 

“I think your aunt is a bit closer to that.” 

“Not helpful.” 

He hummed and then lifted one of the hands holding her to wave at something behind her. 

“What’s got Parker in a mood?” MJ asked Harley. 

“Apparently, she’s trying to break the world record for number of reveals in a month.” 

“Oh God, now you’ve done it. Please knock on wood or throw salt or something.” 

“May figured it out?” MJ whistled. 

“Not yet,” Penny could hear Wanda’s smile in her smug voice. “But she is quite close.” 

“Ugh! I hate all of you.” 

Harley gave her a squeeze while the girls laughed. “Sweet pea, I promise that whatever happens you’ll be okay.”  
___ 

Hours flew by as the four danced and drank. Harley and Penny were overjoyed that they had successfully matched the honest cynic with the friendly mind-reader (although they tried not to think about it). 

The night was coming to a close when May had, unfortunately, found them. Luckily, she seemed to have had a few drinks herself and was laughing at something Happy had said. She looked years younger with her ‘Harold’. 

Penny smiled at the sight and thought back to what Harley had said, about everything being okay. She actually agreed with him. 

Unfortunately, Parker Luck and her Spidey-sense seemed to disagree. She grabbed Harley’s hand and pulled him close. Harley tensed at her sudden nervous energy and looked around for the danger. Wanda stepped protectively in front of Penny. 

A team of operatives marched through the gold entrance and the ballroom went from having a small crowd of serene, tired guests to being filled with armed mysterious individuals. Guests shouted in confusion and tried to leave, but they were blocked from doing so. 

Secretary Ross entered the room, all eyes on him as he headed straight for Tony. 

“Mr. Stark, the government has reason to believe, due to recent events, that you are hiding the identity of a mutant vigilante.” He pulled out a document. “This is a warrant for your arrest.” 

The entire room gasped as Tony was roughly pulled away from Pepper and taken into custody. Penny stepped forward, but Harley pulled her tightly into him and Wanda pushed her back. 

“On the sixth anniversary of the day I snapped? That’s cold, Ross, even for you.” 

Ross ignored the insult, “If you are unable to tell us Spider-Man’s legal name within 24 hours, you will be forced to spend the rest of your life on The Raft.” 

“No!” Penny shoved her friends away and grabbed the two men holding her mentor, throwing them off of Tony. 

“Kid, stop!” 

The first wave of operatives launched an attack, but Iron Lad and Iron Man appeared by her side taking them all down. 

“Don’t transform. Please Pen, I’m begging you,” Harley whispered so only she could hear. 

“I’m sorry, Harls. I think they already know,” She looked towards Ross, who was grinning like he’d just won the lottery. 

“No… Spider-Man is a Spider-Woman? This is excellent,” Ross clapped his hands together in satisfaction. 

She raised her head proudly. “I come with you and everyone else gets pardoned." 

“Hiding a dangerous mutant is a serious offense.” 

“They’ve only known for a few weeks. No one else…” She looked to her right at a shocked, heartbroken May. “No one else knows. Please.” 

“NO!” May moved towards them, but Happy and MJ held her back. 

“If you’re a good little Spider-Girl on The Raft,” Ross’s eye glinted at May. “No one else has to get hu—.” 

A shot rang out from one of the unknown agents and hit Penny in the back of her shoulder. Before anyone could do anything else, the weapons glowed red and crumbled in the operatives’ hands. 

Tony and Harley disengaged from their suits, taking their places beside a kneeling and wounded Penny. 

“There’s an exit wound and it didn’t hit anything important,” she said quickly to placate her boys. She dropped the bullet she’d caught before it ricocheted off to hurt anyone else and tried to hold back a pained groan as blood poured down her dress from her shoulder. 

“No shooting the merchandise,” even Ross was unhappy with the events as he glowered towards the back from the source of the shot and then around the room for the mysterious Scarlet Witch. 

“That was reckless. Your people are trigger happy,” Tony spat at the secretary. “If you even hurt one hair on my kid’s he—” 

“I’ll ensure that they won't,” Wanda stepped forward, eyes glowing. “You’re collecting mutants, are you not? I assume Avengers are no longer protected.” 

Blood drained from Secretary Ross's face in fear. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be a good little witch,” she mocked Ross’s earlier tone. “As long as Penny remains unharmed.” 

“Wanda…” Penny whispered, distressed that she had dragged her friend into this mess. 

“Very well, collect them both.” 

Penny pulled Harley into a fierce kiss and then turned to Tony as she let her arms be manhandled behind her. 

“You need to fix this without your best fighter,” she smiled weakly at him and then looked at the furious strawberry-blonde CEO behind him. “You’re going to do this Pepper’s way.” 

Harley tried to stop them from pulling her up, but Tony reached over and grabbed him, “She’s right. I’ll fix this.” 

“Protect May!” 

Tony watched his pseudo daughter leave with blurred vision as embraced his adopted son tightly to prevent him from going after her, likely with the help of a certain witch. 

“I’ll fix this,” he whispered more to himself than to Harley.  
___ 

Pepper Potts took control of the scene, directing Happy to help her pull May, MJ, Tony, and Harley through the crowd, the paparazzi, and to the Stark limo. 

Odd silence took place once the car doors were closed. No one moved. No one even seemed to breathe the entire ride to the Stark Tower. 

Happy and MJ helped a distraught May to the elevator, while Pepper, Tony, and Harley followed. 

The stillness broke only when the elevator doors closed behind Tony. He found himself face-to-face with an emotionless Harley and moved to comfort him but was shoved for his efforts. 

“Hey!” Tony shoved back. Pepper and Happy stepped forward to intervene, but Tony held up his hand to stop them. “You aren’t fourteen anymore. Nobody has died. So snap out of it so we can get her back.” 

“It would have been a lot easier back when we actually had her,” Harley hissed. 

A soft hand touched Harley’s shoulder, “And then what? Fight the entire United States? My niece is strong, stronger than I thought, but she wouldn’t want that.” 

“No,” Harley’s angry aura faded, “No she wouldn't have. So what’s next?” 

Tony looked at Pepper. “She said we should do it your way?” 

“I mentioned a lawsuit to Spider-Man a few months ago about Stark Industries hiring non-violent mutants. She suggested we could take it nationally for innocent mutants once the case was built, but it’s nowhere near ready. 

"Plus, as she pointed out at the time, it wasn’t exactly put together with her in mind. As the world just witnessed, she can get pretty violent.” 

Tony rubbed his face with his hands, “Well, it’s our best shot.” 

The elevator doors opened to their private rooms and Harley rushed out. 

“And where are you going?” Tony called after him. 

“To become a lawyer overnight,” he snapped slamming the door to his old room. 

"Men," MJ rolled her eyes. Pepper just smiled and offered to show MJ her guest room. 

“I thought Iron Lad and Spider-Man weren’t each other’s biggest fans,” Happy observed quietly. 

“Accidently dating for eight months changes things,” Tony gave a half-hearted laugh. 

"So the fight..." May trailed off. 

"Penny figured Harley out when he introduced me as a guardian. She knew I only have three kids." 

"Three?" May asked. 

"Morgan, Harley, and Spider-Kid," Tony guided May to the couch in the center of the room and Happy followed. "I may not have known her name or gender until a few weeks ago, but I know she's obsessed with Star Wars, she snores if her head is angled a certain way, she'd probably murder for good Thai food, and she has a heart of gold." 

May looked incredibly overwhelmed, but Tony needed to get his message across to Penny's worried aunt, "I invented time travel when she crumbled to ash in my arms. I know we've just met, but May, trust me when I say I will get that kid back. I've done it before and I'll do it again." 

"Daddy?" An 11-year-old Morgan peeked her head around the corner. She waved shyly at May. "Why is Harley is upset?" 

"Hey, kiddo, just gotta get your web-headed sister back. She got herself into some trouble." 

"Again?!" 

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "Again." 

"Thank you," May chuckled wetly. She still looked a little confused, but she seemed to understand just how far Tony would go for Penny. 

"So you're saying Morgan knew about Penny before me?" Happy frowned. 

Tony rolled his eyes, "That's what you got out of this?" 

"Her name is Penny?" Morgan brightened. 

"... and no, she just knew about her being a sister."  
___ 

The Raft was boring. Penny was incredibly grateful for that fact. She suspected the lack of physical abuse she faced from the guards was because of Wanda. The two had cells that faced each other and, while their enclosures rendered their powers useless, no one really wanted to risk the wrath of Scarlet Witch. 

"I spy with my little eye something.... gray." 

"It's the trim on my cell." 

"Damn it Wanda, stop cheating." 

"Can we play something else?" 

Penny couldn't think of a game they hadn't played. Three months of pure, mindless entrapment would do that to a person. 

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer—" 

"Shut the fuck up," a speaker from above interrupted Wanda. 

Penny snorted. 

"Do you think MJ found someone else?" Wanda asked, uncharacteristically nervous. 

"Hell no. She was head over heals for you before the two of you met." 

"I quite liked her before we met as well. Or at least yours and Harley's impression of her." 

Penny wanted to cry at the mention of Harley. It was just about their anniversary. 

"I'm sorry." 

"I'm just a little tired is all," Penny tried to convince Wanda and herself. "Thank you, Wanda. For being here." 

"What are friends for? Get some sleep."  
___ 

It took four months for the team to put together the case and expedite it through the courts. They paid the best defense lawyers, including Matthew Murdock, to collaborate and give their feedback. 

It all led to the moment Tony stepped up as a character witness for Wanda and Penny. Everything was going great so far. The defense had a strong case based on the work of the Avengers while the prosecuters just had their biased, out-dated law. 

"How long have you known Penny Parker, Mr. Stark?" 

"I've known Penny Parker for five months, but Spider-Man for over seven years." 

"And Wanda Maximoff?" 

"Eight years," Tony responded bluntly. 

"So you covered up not one, but two mutants for eight years?" 

"Yup. If we didn't, the world would have ended twenty times over." 

The prosecutor sighed in irritation. 

"How did you meet the defendants?" 

"We recruited Wanda when she was 19 and Spider-Man when he was, hell, a 14-year-old kid I suppose." 

"She." 

"Right. It slips out occasionally." 

The questioning continued, resulting in Tony revealing his lab sessions with Spider-Man, details around Wanda's Lagos incident, and his parental relationship with Penny. 

"Did you have romantic relations with either of the defendants?" 

The courtroom erupted and Tony's gut twisted in disgust, "What the fuck kind of question is that?" 

"Order, order in the courtroom." The judge nodded at Tony, "Proceed to answer the question Mr. Stark." 

"No. I did not have romantic relations with two women young enough to be my daughters," he resisted the urge to snarl. 

"But you do consider Penny your daughter. Do you not, Mr. Stark?" 

"I care for Penny very much. I watched her grow up despite the mask." 

"Is Penny Parker involved romantically with your ward, Harley Keener?" 

"I don't see what this has to do with anything." 

"Could it stand to reason that your familial ties with her could cloud your judgment?" 

Tony huffed, running out of patience, "Fine. Don't listen to me. Just look at the past five months. How many riots have we seen? How many invasions have lasted days because we lack the support we need? How many lives have been lost because the world hates mutants so much that two of Earth's best defenders are locked in cages? 

"I can tell you one thing: if you keep them behind bars then you won't just lose two Avengers, you'll lose the whole team. Either to death, early retirement, or treason." 

"Is that a threat Mr. Stark?" 

"It's a promise."  
___ 

"Sweet pea?" 

Penny woke to the sound of her favorite voice. "Harley! May!" 

She stumbled up as the cell opened and ran into May and Harley's arms. They peppered kisses all along her head and face. 

"I see and I'm just chopped liver." 

"Tony!" Penny looked around Harley to see the man with an arm thrown around Wanda's shoulders. She ran once more and threw her arms around Tony's neck. 

"Hey, kiddo. I told you I'd fix it."


End file.
